


Ease My Mind

by Blissfulbroadway



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Boys Kissing, Comfort, Depression, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Panic Attacks, detailed descriptions of hands, ease my mind by Ben Platt was the only reason I wrote this, the boys are in love, wow another kleinsen oneshot shocking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 12:03:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17866895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blissfulbroadway/pseuds/Blissfulbroadway
Summary: Evan panics and Jared puts him back together again.





	Ease My Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ratbox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratbox/gifts).



> A little oneshot type thingy dedicated to Ben Platt and also Zach :) enjoy

Evan didn’t remember how it had started, just how it had progressively gotten worse.    
  
Jared was in the midst of it all. It wasn’t pretty.    
  
But love wasn’t pretty, was it?   
  
Jared knew that for a fact. He sat beside Evan in the corner of Evan’s small living room, shushing him softly and soothing him with loving, gentle words.    
  
“It’s okay, my love. I’m here. I’ve got you. I’m not leaving, okay? I’m right here. There’s no need to panic. Just breathe, babe. In for four, out for six. I’m here.” He murmured.    
  
Jared reached out a hand, and Evan grabbed it tight with both of his own shaky ones. His mind raced and he needed someone to comfort him.   
  
Jared didn’t mind the nails bitten down to the bed, or the roughness of his fingertips and palms, or the clamminess of his boyfriend’s hands.    
  
He intertwined their fingers, giving Evan’s hand a light squeeze.    
  
Evan sobbed, face buried in his knees. He was curled up tight. Tight enough to hide away. Tight enough to disappear.    
  
Jared needed to ease him out of it. Let him unfold and show his genuinely beautiful self.    
  
He inched closer, reaching up with his free hand to hold Evan’s cheek.    
  
Evan moved into Jared’s touch.    
  
It was familiar. His mind cleared slightly, and his body was filled with warmth.    
  
Jared’s hands were smooth and smaller than his own. Still, it was cute how he held Evan’s hands in his, trying to grab all of it and fit it in because he believed every part of Evan deserved to be held and warm and comfortable and loved.   
  
When Evan was feeling especially bad, Jared’s hands moved down to his back, rubbing circles and shapes and wiggly, pointless lines in spots he felt tension in. They were hard-working yet gentle hands, digging into his skin and trying to get rid of the knots that plagued the vast area of Evan’s upper back and shoulders.    
  
They were hands that combed Evan’s hair back and wiped his face free from tears.    
  
They were hands that held Evan’s cheeks and cradled his face like he holding the whole entire world in his palms.    
  
They were hands that rested against Evan’s chest, feeling his heart’s rhythm beat fast enough to make Evan go into cardiac arrest. He always moved his hands from his heart up to wrap around his shoulders, pulling Evan closer by the back of his neck.    
  
They were hands that felt all around Evan’s entire body, guiding a path for Jared’s eyes to take in and admire and love every single piece of Evan.    
  
They were hands that never ceased to turn the other into putty whenever Jared made simple contact with him.    
  
They were hands that belonged to the boy who made his whole life have meaning.    
  
Even when he was sobbing in the corner of his tiny living room, compressed and compacted and covering up what was inside, and Evan was raging and self loathing and breaking himself piece by piece, Jared put him back together from the inside out. Evan was eternally grateful.    
  
As Jared lifted Evan’s chin with the hand previously on his cheek and made sure he was looking at him, Evan calmed down.    
  
The twinkle of love and concern in Jared’s eyes was more than enough to make Evan calm down for Jared.    
  
Jared leaned closer, kissing Evan’s forehead as though he were a mother or father comforting Evan after a bad nightmare.   
  
The only monsters Evan knew anymore were the ones that hid in the depths of his mind, creeping into his every day thoughts and feelings.    
  
Jared scared the scariest of monsters off, easing Evan’s mind.    
  
He was his security blanket. A person to turn to when the whole world was crumbling around him.   
  
Evan took a deep breath in, relishing in the sweet Eskimo kiss Jared gave him.   
  
Then, he let it out after Jared’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer.   
  
Evan kissed Jared’s shoulder, hugging him back.    
  
His hands still shook. Jared didn’t mind. He just pulled away enough to press his forehead to Evan’s own.    
  
Jared looked into Evan’s eyes, his smile bright and as dorky as it always was.    
  
Jared pretended like he didn’t love Evan. But he totally did.    
  
In even the smallest of smiles, it was easy to tell how in love Jared was.    
  
He was truly in love with Evan Hansen.    
  
Jared pecked Evan’s nose, hands moving from around his middle up to his shoulders, fingers expertly pressing into the muscle. Evan sighed.    
  
“Thank you.” He whispered.    
  
Jared smiled, leaning forward to kiss Evan.    
  
Evan’s hands moved up to hold the sides of Jared’s neck. He kissed back.   
  
All was mended for the time being. Evan’s heart went back to his normal pace, though pounding against his chest and thundering wildly in his ears.    
  
Evan was in love with Jared.   
  
Love was a hell of a thing.    
  
But sometimes, love could be beautiful.


End file.
